Celebrity Deathmatch: Mario Edition
by DaMimster
Summary: Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch: Mario Edition! All your favorite stars battle it out in the Deathmatch Ring! PG-13 for Violence, Gore, and some language. R&R please!
1. Match 1: Wario vs. Bowser

Celebrity Deathmatch: Mario Edition  
  
Disclaimer Dealy: I do not own the following:  
Mario  
Luigi  
Peach  
Daisy  
Bowser  
Wario  
Johnny Gomez  
Nick Diamond  
The Mario Series  
CDM  
  
Anyway, It's just clay ;-)   
  
What will happen when two enemies of a famous plumbers battle in a match?  
Who will win the heart of a famous plumber?  
Who will win the battle we like to call, Momma Mia, Thas a spicy plumber?  
  
These answers and more on CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH: Mario Edition  
  
-Pyros go off inside the deathmatch arena as the announcers of the evening introduce themselves.-  
  
Johnny Gomez (JG): Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch everybody. I'm Johnny Gomez.  
Nick Diamond (ND): And I'm Nick Diamond. We have a lot of carnage to get to tonight, and all the matches have one thing in Common.  
  
-Cut to the original Super Mario Bros. For NES-  
  
ND (Voiceover): All of tonight's matches star the characters from one of the defining video game series of all time, Mario! All the combatants tonight have a grudge with each other and willing to fight to the death to get them over with.  
  
-Cut back to the arena, where the crowd is going nuts-  
  
JG: That's right, Nick. Here are tonight's matches.  
Our first bout will feature two of Mario's nemeses from his many games. Wario will take on King of all Koopa's, Bowser. Match 1: Wario vs. Bowser.  
Our second bout has two of the leading ladies who both has fought for Mario's love. Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach, will take on the Princess of Sarasaland (A/N: Kingdom in Super Mario Land -GB-), Daisy. Match 2: Peach vs. Daisy.  
Our Main Event will feature the two plumber brothers themselves. The man in the red shirt, Mario, will take on his younger green loving brother, Luigi, in the battle we like to call, Momma Mia, thas a spicy plumber! Main Event: Mario vs. Luigi  
(A/N: I have no idea how spell her name, so the girl backstage will be known as Debbie M.)  
ND: Now we throw it back to Debbie M. who has one our second bout combatants, Debbie?  
  
DM: Yes Nick, I have here Daisy, the lovely Princess who starred in Super Mario Land. Now Daisy, how do you plan to take out Peach tonight?  
  
Daisy: Well, Debbie, I just plan to talk it out with her first off, and if she don't listen, whack her dumb little brains around.  
Peach: Now wait just a minute. You have no idea who you are talking about. I am the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, and if you don't stop talking...  
Daisy: Shut your yap you blonde-haired bitch!  
  
-They start smacking each other around as security come back to break them up.-  
  
JG: That's looks like that match is going to be a heated one. And we are about ready to watch our first match of the night. Wario vs. Bowser.  
ND: And this is no ordinary match, Johnny. In fact, all matches here tonight will have themes to them...  
JG: Don't ruin it for the viewers, Nick.  
Yes fans, this battle of the Mario nemeses will take place in the Deathmatch ring, surrounded by...  
ND: -in a Dr. Evil voice- Liquid Hot Magma.  
JG: Thanks for that imitation, Nick. And our combatants are being lowers into the ring from the ceiling; don't wanna burn them that easily.  
  
-In the ring-  
Mills Lane: I want a good clean fight. No tail snapping, no pipe smashing, and no great balls of fire.  
Let's get it on.  
  
-Bell rings-  
  
JG: And this match is under way.  
  
Bowser: -Grunts-  
Subtitles: You call yourself an enemy. You went soft in all those Wario Land games.  
Wario: Oh yea, you big over-grown lizard. Let's see what ya got.  
  
ND: Oh, and Wario runs right into Bowser's shell, head first, only to be knocked over by that heavy shells protective layer.  
  
Wario: That-a won't stop me.  
  
-He repeats running into Bowser on have his head smashed in-  
  
Wario: Is that the best you got.  
  
-Bowser walks over to Wario, and flicks with this hand into the ring corner. He runs to him, and starts gnawing at him with his sharp claws. Wario is left with claw marks on his chest and stomach-  
  
JG: And it looks like Bowser has an easy advantage of this match. Where does Wario think he is going?  
  
-Wario climbs the turnbuckle, looks like he is gonna lose balance, and stands there. Bowser had turned his back. Wario leaps into the air, and lands on Bowser, with hands locked around his neck. One of the spikes on Bowser's tail sticks into Wario's leg.-  
  
Wario: Ouch, that-a hurt.  
  
ND: He landed right on Bowser, and what does he plan on doing now.  
  
-Wario reaches into his pocket, pulls out a pipe, and shoves it up Bowser's nose.-  
  
Bowser: -Growls in pain-  
  
JG: Ohhhh, that had to hurt. Remember kids, shoving foreign objects up one's nose is dangerous to one's health. -Cash Register sounds-  
  
-Wario leaps down to the ring, pulls out of metal cup from his pocket, reaches out of the ring, and scoops up some lava. Bowser is trying to recover from the pipe up his nose, finally has.-  
  
Wario: Hey, lizard brain. -He runs at Bowser, and throws the lava into one of Bowser's eyes.-  
  
Bowser: -Growls again-  
  
JG: It looks like Wario has gained control of this match. Bowser's eyeball has just fallen out it's socket! Looks like he is going to have trouble finishing this match.  
  
-Wario takes out a crowbar from his pocket, and starts opening up Bowser's shell. It flies into the lava, and burns. It leaves a very tall, but skinny Koopa in it's place.-  
  
Wario: The king of all-a Koopas is a skinny freak. Well, nice knowing-a you, Bowser.  
  
-Wario runs once again at Bowser and smacks in the head with the crowbar making him fall over the ropes and into the lava.-  
Mills: And the winner is, Wario!  
  
JG: Great match, and when we get back, the second bout of the night will take place. Stay tuned for part two in the Chapters list.  
  
-CD logo appears and the camera fades to black- 


	2. Match 2: Peach vs. Daisy

Celebrity Deathmatch: Mario Edition  
  
Disclaimer Dealy: I do not own the following:  
Mario  
Luigi  
Peach  
Daisy  
Bowser  
Wario  
Johnny Gomez  
Nick Diamond  
The Mario Series  
CDM  
  
Anyway, It's Just Clay!  
  
ND: Welcome back to Celebrity Deathmatch.  
  
-Replays of the first match-  
  
JG: If you are just joining us, Bowser was literally taken apart by Wario, who finished off the former King of all Koopas.  
  
-Back to live action-  
  
ND: Now our second bout, The battle of the princesses. These two couldn't wait to get at each other before the match even began. So let's see what these two do in the ring!  
  
-In the ring-  
  
JG: The ring has been decorated as a traditional four corner bed. The ring was painted during the break to look like a mattress, and the corners were installed.  
ND: Also, two chest were put in two corners of the ring, one with D, and one with P. Each lady will get her own chest full of deadly weapons to put away her opponent.  
JG: Here come our combatants.  
  
-Peach appears from one corners of the Deathmatch arena, as Daisy appears from the other. Both enter the ring, and stare each other down.  
  
Mills: Now just because your royalty, doesn't give you any higher authorities in this ring. I want a good, clean fight from both of you.  
Let's get it on!  
  
-Bell rings-  
  
JG: And this match is underway. Both ladies go over to there separate chests, and pull out a weapon of death!  
ND: That's right, Peach has pulled out a mace, used in the Middle Ages by the knights.  
JG: And Daisy has pulled out a broadsword. We weren't kidding when these chests had every weapon of death!  
  
Peach: Hey, Daisy... You may be a princess, but you're a princess of a kingdom no one even know about!  
  
Daisy: Oh yea, Ms. I got a better kingdom than me, bring it on!  
  
-Both ladies run at each other. Peach swings the mace at Daisy, who blocks it with the sword. Daisy then swings the sword at Peach, who ducks it. While she is ducked, she swings the mace at Daisy's foot.-  
  
Daisy: OWWW... -She hobbles around the rings in pain.- What was that for!  
  
Peach: Same reason for this!  
  
JG: OH, she just swung the mace at her back. Daisy now has some nice new holes in the middle of her back.  
  
Daisy: Oh yea, we'll see about that. -She runs over to her chest, and pulls out a chainsaw-  
  
ND: Johnny, that could really hurt someone down in the ring.  
JG: Well, Nick, the more pain, the more you gain!  
  
-Both announcers laugh-  
  
-Daisy runs towards Peach with the chainsaw, and swings down. Peach screams, as the chainsaw cuts off Peach's left arm.-  
  
Peach: You little bitch! I will get back for that! How am I supposed to run my Kingdom with only one arm.  
  
-Peach runs back to her chest and pulls out a saw-  
  
Peach: It may not be much, but it will get me somewhere.  
  
-Peach runs at Daisy with the saw, and slices at Daisy's head. She catches Daisy's ear, which falls to the ring.  
  
Peach: Here, let's have a taste. -Peach picks up the ear, and shoves it down Daisy's throat-  
  
Daisy: -Gagging-  
  
JG: Ooo, that could've hurt. And remember kids, eating one's own parts can also be dangerous! -Cash register rings-  
ND: Johnny, what's with those PSA's?  
JG: What PSA's, Nick?  
  
Daisy: -After regaining herself- You're gonna pay for that. -She runs over to her chest, and pulls out a giant bob-omb.- This will do you in!  
  
-Daisy climbs up the top ropes, lights the fuse on the bob-omb, and leaps into the air. Peach moves out of the way, and Daisy lands mouth first on the bob-omb, swallowing it.-  
  
ND: Johnny, I don't think she's gonna last for very long!  
  
-Daisy starts shivering around the ring, before exploding everyone in the Deathmatch arena.  
  
JG: Very disgusting!  
  
Mills: And the winner is... Peach!  
  
ND: Very interesting match indeed!  
JG: We will be back with the Main Event, after this Part break. Check the Chapter list for Match 3, after this! 


	3. Main Event: Mario vs. Luigi

Celebrity Deathmatch: Mario Edition  
  
Disclaimer Dealy: I do not own the following:  
Mario  
Luigi  
Peach  
Daisy  
Bowser  
Wario  
Johnny Gomez  
Nick Diamond  
The Mario Series  
CDM  
  
Anyway, It's Just Clay!  
  
ND: Welcome back to Celebrity Deathmatch. Johnny went backstage to change into a new suit from the Daisy debris from the last match.  
  
-Replay of the last match-  
  
ND: If you missed that match, both princesses went back and forth using dangerous weapons to take the other down. In the end, it was Daisy's mistake that ended her life.  
  
-Back to live action-  
  
ND: And Johnny is finally back, hey Johnny! -Johnny is wearing a very colorful, striped shirt and shorts-  
JG: Nick, what did you do with my spare suit?  
ND: Nothing, Johnny. -He snickers-  
JG: I couldn't find it anywhere in my dressing room. I had to borrow these from our producer.  
ND: Well, you're just in time for the Main Event.  
JG: That's right, Nick  
Let's show how these two ended up fighting each other. It happened at this year's E3.  
  
-Cut to an Expo center, Mario and Luigi are walking around-  
Luigi: Hey-a Mario, why do you have-a more starring roles and more-a adventures than-a me?  
Mario: Because, you are-a too scared to on your adventure.  
Luigi: Oh-a yea? What about my game Luigi's Mansion?  
Mario: You were-a scared throughout the whole game!  
Luigi: Well-a I won't be scared when I kick your-a ass right now!  
CDM spy: Wait, you two. Why don't you come to the Deathmatch arena and settle your differences there?  
Mario: Good-a idea  
Luigi: Yea, I'll see you there, Mario.  
  
-Back to real time-  
ND: So, it's just another match about who has the most power in the family!  
JG: That's right, Nick.  
Now, it's time for the match we like to call, Momma Mia, thas a spicy plumber.  
ND: This match will have the ring covered with dirt. In each corner there will be a traditional Mario pipe. The pipes lead to under the ring, where traditional Mario items will be there. Those include a hammer, bob-omb, mushroom, fire flower, starman, and raccoon leaf. There are also a couple of beam swords from Super Smash Bros., as well as numerous enemies from the games as well.  
JG: The Mario Bros. are entering the ring, so let's get this match underway.  
  
-In the ring-  
  
Mills: Ok, you two, I want a good, clean fight. No pizza breaks, no spaghetti breaks, and Bowser was taken care of in the first match, so no worries about him.  
Let's get it on!  
  
-Bell rings-  
  
JG: And the match of gaming supremacy begins. And Luigi quickly runs away from Mario around the ring!  
  
-Luigi runs from Mario around the ring in circles, until he finally jumps into one of the pipes. Mario stops, and looks around. Luigi appears in the opposite corner of the pipe in disappeared in, holding a mushroom.-  
  
Luigi: Hey-a, Mario, look what I-a got.  
  
-Mario turns around, and sees Luigi holding the mushroom, who finally eats it. He grows double his size-  
  
Mario: Oh-a crap.  
  
Luigi: -In a deep voice- Now I-a got ya know, Mario.  
  
-He runs at Mario and runs him over with his shoulder. Luigi then picks Mario up, twirls him in Mid-air, and runs away. Mario, who is still twirling in mid-air, stops, then falls 12 feet to the ring.-  
  
JG: Mario was just flattened with that move by Luigi, who has now returned to normal size.  
  
-Mario gets up, and jumps into the pipe nearest to him. He comes out the same pipe holding a fire flower. He eats it and becomes Fire Mario-  
  
Mario: Hey-a, Luigi, prepare to-a eat fire!  
  
-Luigi turns around just as a fireball lunges towards him and catches his right arm.-  
  
Luigi: AHH MY-A ARMS ON FIRE!  
  
-He runs around the ring like a little child, yelling and screaming. Mario lets off another fireball on Luigi. Two more catch his right arm, and now causes the arm to burn off.-  
  
Mario: Ha, how-a you gonna beat me now with only one arm Luigi.  
  
Luigi: Did you forget, Mario. I am-a left-handed!  
  
-Luigi dives into the nearest pipe, and comes out with a Goomba in his hand and a Koopa Troopa under his arm. Luigi tosses the Goomba off Mario, who then loses his Fire Power.-  
  
Mario: You-a ass. I'll get-a you for that.  
  
-Luigi then jumps on top of the Koopa Troopa, grabs the shell, and tosses it Mario's leg. The shell is going so fast, it takes off Mario's left leg.-  
  
Luigi: Thas for the arm, ass.  
  
Mario: Oh-a yea! Well I will have to take-a care of that.  
  
JG: Mario dives into the pipe and comes up with a Raccoon leaf. What is he going to do with that?  
  
-Mario eats the raccoon leaf and turns into Raccoon Mario. He jumps off the pipe, and runs at Luigi. Just as he reaches Luigi, he swings around and smacks Luigi's leg with his tail. The leg goes flying into the crowd.-  
  
Popcorn Vendor: Popcorn here! Get your nice fresh popcorn.  
  
-The leg flies above the popcorn vendor, hits a light fixture, and falls straight on his head, killing him instantly.-  
  
Mario: Sorry, mister!  
  
ND: Looks like Luigi is taking advantage of Mario's kindness and jumps into the pipe. He comes out with a beam sword from the SSB!  
  
-Luigi hops towards Mario, and taps him on the shoulder.-  
  
Luigi: This ends your-a career, and starts-a mine, Mario.  
  
-Luigi swings the sword at Mario's neck, decapitating him on the spot. The carcass of Mario falls forward.  
  
Mills: And the winner is... Luigi!  
  
ND: Looks like Luigi's dreams have just come true. He is going to get more starting roles in the Mario games.  
  
JG: That's true, Nick. That's all the time we have for tonight, for Nick Diamond, I am Johnny Gomez. Good Fight, Good Night!  
  
I will be writing a Zelda one, so if you enjoyed this, I will have one in the Zelda category later. 


End file.
